The Cut Up - Raw Horror Movie Satisfaction!The Cut Up - Raw Horror Movie Satisfaction!The Cut Up - Raw Horror Movie Satisfaction!


0 commentsSince January 31, 2009

Write Up: My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

1 commentsSince January 18, 2009

Ten years have past since Harry Wardin massacred several people in the mines that he worked in, on Valentines Day and the town is only just now getting over it. Even Tom Hanniger, Sarah's old boyfriend has come back to see how the town is doing but It seems as though ten years was just enough time for Harry Wardin to rest up for his next big Valentines Day Celebration. Now people are turning up dead everywhere and no couple is looking forward to the day of love this year. The odd thing is that even though it looks like Harry Wardin is back, there is a lot of evidence proving he died in those mines ten years ago along with his victims. Is Harry Wardin actually back or is someone trying make it look that way?

The remake of My Bloody Valentine is surprising in that it doesn't suck! I am usually against remakes but this one actually does a decent job and adds a few of its own tricks to make it stand out. Literally, it was in 3D!

As with most horror movies, the characters are never very interesting, likable or funny and the actors aren't very good at, you know, acting. I thought that Jensen Ackles who played Tom Hanniger was a bit stiff and unconvincing at times. But My Bloody Valentine is different in that the characters actually have a love triangle dynamic introduced which fits in perfectly with the idea of Valentines Day, so they are a bit more interesting but definitely not all that likable.

The story, obviously, is taken from the 1981 movie and therefore holds up. Obviously, it's not original but I still stick by the idea that a miner as the killer is a great idea. However, what the remake does differently is add a bit of a mystery to the whole thing. They throw curve balls at you to make you think it might be Harry Warden, or perhaps it's one of the other characters. It's not an amazing mystery story or anything but I think this makes the movie a lot more exciting.

The scenes are great and My Bloody Valentine definitely lives up to its name. This movie is BLOODY. lots of cutting, chopping, stabbing and pick-axening! If you're looking for gore, this movie's got it! In addition to the gore, the 3D was also very enjoyable. Pick Axes hit the screen, tree limbs come at you, people punch at you; it's a lot of fun! Also, if you're looking for gratuitous nudity, this movie features a 15 minute, yes, a 15 minute scene of one woman running around naked. And when I say naked I don't mean "Hey, look! I have boobs!" I mean, "Hey, look I have boobs and Woo! This too!" Yeah, it's a bit much...

Now the question everyone is asking, Does it stand up to the original? The answer is yes and no. I think these movies have a chance to co-exist together. The movie stands great on its own and even lifts certain aspects from the original film and adds them in flawlessly but the original movie cannot be denied as its a great example of a slasher film in its era. This being said, this movie does suffer from that "hollywood Shine" syndrome that I'm not a big fan of. They always try to make these remakes look so perfect but something crucial is lost between the original feeling of the 1981 movie and this remake.

If you're looking for a decent 3D movie, that happens to be a decent remake, I definitely recommend taking your date to make your Valentines Day Bloody.

Write Up: The Unborn (2009)

1 commentsSince

Casey is living a normal life as a teenager. She has a boyfriend, she babysits and she...jogs, but things shortly change when she starts having odd dreams. Shortly after these dreams start, her eye starts bothering her and the doctor notices that it has changed color. He explains that this normally only happens with children who had a twin that died in the womb before birth. She finds out from her father that this is true and his nickname in the womb was...are you ready for this? Jumby. Casey is having several creepy visions of Jumby which escalate into a real life struggle for her to stay the only twin that survived. Will Casey be able to put her brothers spirit to rest or will her days end as an only child?

After watching an interesting trailer for The Unborn, I was a bit curious. I went openly, like an optimistic uncle to see his new born nephew or niece, to see this movie thinking "Hey, I bet it's a beautiful child!" But as it turns out, The Unborn should have stayed in the womb.

Casey, her friends and her boyfriend are about as interesting as a high school girl talking about her prom, so the dialogue isn't winning any awards here and I didn't really feel a connection with any of the characters. But if you're in high school or haven't grown up since, then you may be into their conversations. The story is also something that has been done several times before and doesn't add anything new or interesting besides the monster that you see periodically.

What The Unborn does get right are the scares. Not all of them, because they do run hot and cold, but the majority are really good. These scares will make you jump and appreciate the scenes but certain scare scenes are ridiculous looking and pretty laughable. In fact, some of these had the audience laughing out loud at them.

These cheesy scenes would normally add to the whole teen-horror genre but you can tell that they weren't intentionally funny; which I have a problem with. This film seems to take itself way too seriously for what it gives off.

The Unborn is one of those movies where it's good scenes are great but the rest of the movie is just bland and boring. Check this out if you're into teen-horror without much fun.

What I learned:
The disease known as Alzheimer's will from here on out be known as "Old Timers". Also, Dogs do wear masks!

What I want to ask:
Who the hell nicknames a fetus? Sub question, why would you pick the nickname Jumby? What the hell is Jumby? Gumby's half brother with a speech impediment? Also, Gary Oldman, what were you thinking?


1 commentsSince January 11, 2009